


Stay With Me

by Autobratty



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Amica Endurae, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Death, Spark Sexual Interfacing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 05:45:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16591952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autobratty/pseuds/Autobratty
Summary: The room was dim so I doubt that he could seeMy cold, shaking hands and my reddened cheeksA part of me wished to crawl under his sheetsBut I sincerely doubted that we would sleep(Nicole Dollanganger, “Ghosts”)





	Stay With Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> We all have our grief, whatever its cause, but know I will always be beside you through it all.

“Roddy, I… I don’t know if I can do this anymore. Gasket, Wing, Ratchet… I’ve lost everyone that’s ever loved me.” 

“No you haven’t.” That garnered Drift’s attention. Rodimus gently cupped his cheeks so that Drift wouldn’t be able to break away from his weary gaze. “I love you,” he said softly. “Maybe not the same way as Ratchet did. You know I’m not good with… commitment. You deserve better. You always did. I know I’ve been hard to get a hold of, but I promise that from here on out, whenever you need me, I’ll be there. Okay?” 

Drift’s lip wobbled, and within the blink of an eye he’d thrown himself into Rodimus’ arms. “I’ll always need you, Roddy,” he choked out. 

The former prime tightened his grip around the grieving mech. “Come with me,” he murmured. “I’m not a captain anymore - I’m under Thunderclash’s command; but I’m sure he’d say yes. I’m out of comm range a lot, but we don’t really do much other than get from point A to point B. No adventures.” He pulled back, but just enough to rest his forehead against Drift’s. “When we were side by side, every day was an adventure. And if I’m being honest, I… I’ve missed you. I’ve missed everyone - even Megatron - but no one as much as you. And I hate that we’ve been drawn together by such a sad circumstance, but -”

Drift interrupted him with a kiss to the cheek. “Of course I’ll go with you, Rodimus,” he whispered. “It’s not like I have anything left here anyway.” He barked out a broken laugh at his own expense. 

Rodimus clutched him tighter.

\--

Naturally, Thunderclash welcomed Drift aboard, the shorter mech bowing slightly in thanks. Rodimus took Drift’s arm, and winced slightly at how clean and unmarred Drift’s frame was in comparison to his own. As Rodimus led him to the floor where the hab suites were, he briefly glanced up at Drift’s face. It had been years - maybe even decades - since he’d seen Drift last, and he’d only grown more beautiful, more regal than ever.

They stopped in front of an empty hab suite. Rodimus opened the door to reveal a modest room with a single berth, a desk, and a round portside window. Drift walked inside, not bothering to turn the lights on; the stars twinkling in the distance was plenty. He placed the small box of his belongings on the desk. He sat down on the berth, looking around the room. It wasn’t very large, but it was far better living quarters than he’d occupied for the vast majority of his life. It wasn’t his and Ratchet’s apartment, but nothing was “his and Ratchet’s” anymore.

“This is nice,” Drift said, finally returning his gaze to Rodimus, who was standing awkwardly in the doorway, fiddling with his fingers. Drift frowned; he’d never known Rodimus to be a particularly anxious mech, at least on the outside.

“Roddy? You okay?”

Rodimus bit his lip, optics sparking a little, but nodded emphatically. “M’fine,” he croaked.

Drift frowned. “No, you’re not. Come here.” He held open his arms, and Rodimus was nestled against him before the door had even slid shut behind the red mech.

“I shouldn’t be the one crying,” he hiccuped. “You’re the one who just lost his sparkmate. I don’t even know what that’s l-like.” The thought colored his EM field with further distress. Between his field and his words, Drift could tell that the former Prime’s breakdown could be almost entirely attributed to loneliness. Still, he wanted Rodimus to say it, to confirm it for the both of them.

“Is that what this is about, Roddy?” Drift asked softly. He shifted so they were both laying on the berth, facing one another. The red mech refused to meet the other’s optics. “No. Yes. Maybe.” He shook his head as if to clear it of warring thoughts. He rolled over to lay on his back and stare up at the ceiling. “It’s just hard, y’know?” he said quietly. “Everyone went their separate ways, but for most of them, they had somebody to be with. I’ve been away a lot, but I’ve at least tried to keep tabs: Chromedome’s a grief counselor now, and he and Rewind are still together, albeit in an unconventional way. Brainstorm and Perceptor became conjunx endura and are lecturers in the new Academy in chemistry and physics, respectively. Cyclonus and Tailgate are living in a nice place in Tetrahex, Cyclonus’ hometown, and I heard something about Whirl moving in with them when he gets out of prison. I mean, _that’s_ not a good place to be, but at least he has somewhere to go.”

Drift nodded along. He’d known these things, but he wasn’t going to cut Rodimus off. Just when the dejected mech seemed to be done speaking, he continued in a much quieter voice, “You and Ratchet had that little non-profit clinic that you ran together, in Rodion, where you first met.”

Rodimus’ venting session had helped Drift to take his mind off things to an extent, but when the former Prime mentioned his deceased conjunx, Drift’s optics filled with tears. He rolled over to face the wall. “Yeah,” he whispered. “It’s crazy to think we sold it to a new owner just a few months ago, after we found out about Ratty’s rapidly degenerating health.”

The nickname almost made Rodimus smile (almost). He knew that Ratchet had followed through on his promise to treat Drift well, up until the day he died. A small sob escaping his best friend (?) snapped him out of his stupor. Rodimus turned his head to the left to see Drift curled up in a ball, shoulders wracked with suppressed sobs. He didn’t think he could frown deeper than he had been, but Rodimus proved himself wrong as he rolled over to wrap his arms around Drift’s trembling frame. He placed one hand on a white finial to stroke it soothingly, the other over his friend’s spark.

“I’m so sorry,” Rodimus whispered. “Even now, I’ve been making it all about myself and my problems, when here you are, just having lost your conjunx endura.” Drift turned back over to face Rodimus. “Bond with me?” he asked, a note of desperation in his voice.

Rodimus reset his audio feed, thinking he’d misheard. He hadn’t shared sparks with Drift since they were on the Lost Light. “What?”

“Bond with me. Please, Roddy,” he nearly begged. “I need to feel you.”

“I… I didn’t realize you still considered me your amica,” Rodimus replied carefully. Was this some sort of trick…?

Drift smiled sadly and reached up to brush his fingers over Rodimus’ cheek. “I’ll always be your amica, Roddy,” he said softly. “As long as you want me.”

Rodimus grip on Drift nearly became crushing as he retracted the armor over his spark casing, the ball of light within flaring with apprehension and anticipation for the only other spark it had ever come in contact with. “I’ll always want you,” he breathed.

Drift’s chestplate slid open as well, baring his own bright spark. He gave Rodimus a wobbly smile, tendrils of blue light reaching for one another, desperate after so long apart. “I love you, Roddy.”

Rodimus choked down a sob, twining their fingers together with the hand not clutching Drift’s frame. “I love you too,” he replied shakily. The red speedster buried his face against Drift’s neck as they shifted closer to one another until their sparks were nearly touching, almost close enough to merge, the photonic crystals over their sparks the only thing separating them.

They simultaneously disengaged the locks to their spark chambers, both of them damaged, but as their sparks finally met and became one, it was nothing short of perfect. Two mechs, two bodies, one spark, both sets of optics closed tightly as they held each other close, finding comfort in the other’s soul.

“I’ll never leave you again,” Rodimus promised over their connection, more of a feeling than a spoken sentiment. He peppered soft kisses against Drift’s neck cables. A few tears slid down Drift’s cheeks, further smearing his makeup. “Forever,” his spark sung.

“Forever.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't even read this whole thing over and pooped it out within just a couple of hours while sick but I hope it's okay  
> *tosses it at you*


End file.
